These Shoes Weren’t Made for Driving

They weren’t exactly made for walking, either.

Sam Edelman shoes

These lovely Sam Edelmans are the highest heels I have ever driven in.  Yes, yes I did.  I drove (manual transmission, mind you) with 5-inch toothpicks lodged into the bottom of my heels.  No, I did not injure myself or others.  At least, not while driving.  (I did eventually impale my shins on those spikes.  That drew blood.)

Spikes

 

Spikes!!!

 

How, you ask, does one drive on such stilts?

It’s not actually that much different than driving in quasi-regular footwear.  And you can even push the seat back a little because of the extra five inches of height.  (Winning! say we short girls.)  Motorista’s advice?  Be extra aware of your pedal and seat placement.  Adjust your seat to accommodate the heel, so that you are not too close to the pedals (brake slammage alert!) or too far away to have adequate control.  Adjust and test BEFORE you set off.

The greatest hazard of monster toothpick heels?  Floor mats.  Be ye not the one to get your stilettos caught along the edge of the floor mat OR between the floor mat and one of the pedals.  That almost happened to me – with the accelerator, thank you – and it took a few years off my life.  You really do not want to exit this mortal coil trapped in flying sheetmetal, your stiletto heel pinned to the accelerator.  That is the kind of news story that ends up on one of those snarky blogs run by people who read the Internet for a living and ride scooters.  It is an inauspicious ending at best.

Beyond this one hazard, your driving experience in these shoes should not be terrible.  Your toes will go numb pretty quickly, and what you can’t feel won’t hurt you!  Beware of traffic jams, however.  Frequently shifting while stiletto-shod is awkward at best.

However, you will prefer driving in such shoes to walking in them.  Trust me.

These shoes were made for sitting.

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