Having spent what feels like the vast majority of my adult life traveling the interstate, I have developed a list of cars I refer to as The Slows. The Slows are particular car models that invariably drive slow in the fast lane (my biggest pet peeve of all time), oblivious to my Rules (which will be shared in excruciating detail in a coming post – fear not), common sense, propriety and basic human decency. Did I mention they piss me off?
Here, dear readers, are The Slows. If you feel I have included you in this list in error, feel free to comment and attempt to redeem yourself.
- Mazda Tribute/Ford Escape (prior generation)
- Honda Accord (sedan)
- Honda Civic (sedan)
- All Toyotas (the Prius, which is subject to my particular opprobrium, will have its own
rantpost very soon)
- Most pick-ups (Ford F-150s especially, Chevy Silverados often, Dodge Rams less often)
- All other vans
And the very worst of all? Surprisingly, the Ford Mustang. WTF? How can one putter in a sports car? A MUSCLE car?? This is offensive. I beg all Mustang drivers to redeem this vehicle. Drive it like you stole it. Some of you probably did.
Take my list for a test drive. See if it doesn’t prove true. Got others to add? Let me know. Until all of humanity learns and follows my Rules, this list must inevitably be a work in progress.
Be ye not a Slow!