How Do You Say “Holy Crap!” in Italian?

I blame JeanKnowsCars. A week ago, they posted a story on a charity eBay auction for a “Maserati Day,” the chance to drive a new Maserati in a rally drive and watch the Maserati Trofeo and IndyCar at Sonoma Raceway, in the Maserati VIP suite. The auction proceeds support Parkinson’s research.

My first thought was, Oh man, how awesome is that. My second thought: No way I can afford that. People will bid that into the four figures. I visited the eBay site, saw there were no bidders, and decided to keep an eye out. By keeping an eye out, I mean I feverishly checked the auction multiple times a day, mentally calculating, then readjusting, what I thought I might possibly be able to bid. In the meantime, no other bidders.

Cue Friday, August 9. The auction was set to end at 3:30 my time. I set an alarm clock. Seriously. All morning there were no bidders. All early afternoon, no bidders. Around 2:30 my upper lip began to sweat. At 3:15, I decided to enter the minimum bid. At 3:25, I entered the minimum bid. At 3:26, my vision swam. At 3:27, I fully expected someone to outbid me by $10. Or $100. At 3:28, I was still the only bidder. At 3:29, I went slightly lightheaded, but still prepared to lose. At 3:30, I won the auction.

I WON THE AUCTION. I won.

Holy crap! [in Italian]

So, y’all, in two weeks, I’m headed to Walnut Creek, California to the brand-new Maserati of Walnut Creek dealership for a day of driving Maseratis and watching Maseratis race. And watching IndyCar. At Sonoma Raceway. In the Maserati VIP suite.

I die.

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