Retail Therapy

Sooo…it’s been a long week, as my lack of recent posts attests. And when a girl’s had a long week, she needs a little retail therapy on the weekend.

Now, when your passion is cars, retail therapy is a tad bit expensive. (Hell, when you have my taste in fashion, retail shoe therapy is prohibitively expensive, too!) So, I’ve devised a little thing I like to call fantasy retail therapy: strolling the corridors of the motorweb for all the cars I’d love to have. Since I actually have a car I love and that is perfect for me, fantasy retail therapy is less an exercise in torture (Want, want, want! Can’t have, can’t have, can’t have!) than aspirational goal-setting. See what I just did there?

Fantasy retail therapy is not limited to configuring new cars, which I have done before here. Old school is also good. So I started out at eBay Motors in my hunt for pretend acquisitions.

First up: a classic Volkswagen Beetle. I have wanted one of these since before I even realized I was interested in cars. So I must have an old Bug someday.

I love this 1956 Beetle. Such a cool color (mint green), and what appears to be a really nice restoration – not a complete rebuild that removes the original character, just a freshening. Also, the photography in this listing is amazing.

Volkswagen-Beetle-Series-1-1956-Portland-Oregon-Speed-Sports_12381 copy

(P.S. All photos in this post belong to their respective owners, whom you can locate, along with additional pictures, through each link.)

Ok, now I reeeeaaaaaally want that Beetle. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…

Oooh, this lil 1967 “beach cruiser” Bug is cute. AND it’s located in my state. AND it’s affordable.

VW Beetle beach cruiser

Argh. Fantasy retail therapy is working way too well.

Oh, dear. And look at this 1963 Beetle!

VW Beetle 1963

Those wheels! I LOVE it!! I neeeeeed it. IT HAS A VINTAGE GERMAN ROAD MAP IN IT!!

Okay. I am stepping away from the Beetles NOW.

Let’s look at easily non-attainable vehicles instead. These Beetles are out of control.

How about a Maserati GranTurismo? I have seen and heard them in person (remember my Maserati trip last year?), and they are glorious.

All right – first off, the Maserati configurator is awesome. I could play with it for hours (and may have – although I’m writing this in real time, as I actually look for these cars, you’ll never know how long it took 😉 ). Truly, this is one of the best configurators I’ve seen.

Oh wow, I’m pretty sure I just built the most beautiful Maserati ever. Hmm…but it does appear that the paint I just ordered costs $20,500. Ah, well. Total price is a measly $172,535. What’s the difference between $150k and $170k? (Answer: matte paint.)

Summary: Maserati GranTurismo MC in Grigio Granito over Pearl Beige with contrasting Grigio stitching (yum) and – my very favorite – carpets in Pearl Beige with contrasting Nero stitching. Oh, oh, oh AND brake calipers in Titanio with “Maserati” written in red.

Killer. I wish I could show it to you.

Someday, people. And yet, I pine for it less than the Beetles above. Sick.

I’d have this Aston Martin DB9 Volante in Morning Frost White Pearl that’s being offered by my friends over at Aston Martin of Austin.

AM DB9 Volante

This lovely Audi RS 5 would be perfect for me, with its angry red paint. Except it’s a bleeping automatic. I reject such tyranny.

Audi RS5 red

I’m fairly certain I need a purple Mercedes.

This is not the same car at the link, but it is the same type of car, and shows the color (Northern Lights Violet Metallic) very well. Found the photo on Google images.

MB CLA violet

Holy cow. I would definitely have that.

Speaking of purple, how about this Lamborghini Aventador??

Lambo purple

Holy mother of Sam Hill.

Lambo purple 2

I honestly cannot tell whether this intrigues, amuses or disgusts me. Maybe a combination of all three?

Lambo purple 3

Intrigued, for sure. And I would LOVE to photograph that car. But I think I could only drive it in a disguise. Because wouldn’t you hate/love/mostlyhate the driver of a purple Lamborghini if you saw them on the road?

I think the Beetle’s more my style.

Lessons learned in the writing of this post: (1) Fantasy retail therapy is an epic fail. I still covet everything I find. (2) I need to start trolling eBay Motors for the most outlandish exotic cars out there. That could be very amusing. (3) I badly need a classic Beetle.

I’ll let you know which one I buy…